Will Power and God's Timing

      Prayers have been answered! I'm finally feeling like myself again and the feeling of being "normal" is such a blessing. After being threatened with a feeding tube by my doctor in Texas I began forcing myself to eat and drink the nutritional drink, Boost. I am realizing more and more the amount of will power the Lord has blessed me with lately. As the days passed I began eating and drinking so much more than usual. I saw the feeding tube as one more thing I would have to endure, and I was determined to avoid it if at all possible. My radiation oncologist had explained to mama and me (I had already figured this out) that it's harder than it sounds. Trying to drink five or six Boosts a day and/or receive the proper amount of nutrients and calories to help me recover and gain some weight is not as easy as it sounds. You're practically eating/drinking every waking hour of the day. It's like a full time job. I was glad my doctor emphasized this struggle because once again nobody understands until they are in this position. People, including myself before having cancer, think gaining weight is easy and fun, but it's just as difficult, if not more difficult, than trying to lose excess pounds. Anyway, as I started eating and drinking more my appetite began coming back as well as increasing. By the next week I felt like I was eating everything in sight and I was able to handle the Boosts without gagging. Such progress! I had finally gained a couple pounds which proved to my doctor that a feeding tube wouldn't be necessary. I am so thankful the Lord brought me to this point. It just had to be in His timing. Due to my increase in calories and nutrients my wishes in "Pray Through the Process" were granted. My energy level increased a ton. I was no longer sleeping until lunchtime and then napping all afternoon. I was up and moving around. A friend of mine even pointed out that I had walked around The Woodlands Mall instead of being pushed in a wheelchair. Such an accomplishment! Lately I'm truly realizing that it's the little things that mean so much! The Lord has held my hand every step of the way. He was by my side when my family and I picked up and moved to a strange city where we didn't know anyone. He was there with His arms around me when my first two rounds of chemo didn't work. He was constantly present when I stayed a week in the hospital and it seemed like I was never going to get better. He was there when we received bad news and good news, and He was there when we found out I was healed. He knew all along what all I would endure, the friends and relationships we would make in Texas, and how everything would turn out. After all, He is the Ultimate Healer so who else would know when I would finally be healed. All in His timing, which can be such a struggle for me. Either way I am thankful for His blessings, His promises, and His healing!

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." -1 Peter 5:10

"Focus on how far you've come, not how far you have to go."

"Faith isn't hoping God can, it is knowing He will."

"I am a God who heals. I heal broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken lives, and broken relationships." -Jesus Calling